i feel guilty for kissing another guy

Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. That tells you that even if you think you are not showing any signs of being attracted to someone, peoples S/Os have a since of whats going on! Generally people dont care when it happens with others but when it happens with them, they may react very differently because human are emotional creatures. Okay. It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. I felt sick! But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . You had too much to drink and you kissed someone who wasnt your boyfriend or your girlfriend. He was so drunk himself that he started singing I Love Paris and, in the middle of the song, he said in a gruff voice, You wanna kiss me? But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. Yes one should take care of themselves before getting drunk. "Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk ". My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? For starters, your husband, even when supposedly immature, didn't kiss HER. Houston, we have a problem. I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. But, again, it's never what you do, it's the way that you do it, meaning I was careful to be sensitive in the telling. It's not that big of a deal anyway and you aren't going to do it again. When we went to bed that night, I started crying because I realized what had happened and I felt confused and guilty all at the same time. Or do I? reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2006): A We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. Unless you literally were so drunk that you had no idea what you were doing, it's probably better for you to take responsibility for and own your behavior instead of saying "I got drunk" as an excuse. For the fact that I'd have to go into mass production, LOL. That was crazy' and other awkward things. I'm trying - with the utmost seriousness and sincerity - to advise you to keep your relationship rap-sheet completely squeaky clean. Drop it in CASUALLY, as part of general chit-chat, like it's no big thing (because if it's no biggie to you then that must mean it isn't and wasn't any threat to him), and in such a way as draws similarities with his own past incident. Myself and the man were sitting next to each other on the couch, and the other woman was sitting on another couch at the other side of the room. Life's a bleedin' mystery, ain't it? Take it away, expand if you please! I did for a second *start* to kiss him backbut only because I was so completely off my head at that point (I'm talking room starting to spin) as was he, actually, which is probably why it occurred- well, NEARLY occurred in the first place, so don't worry about that bit but the second I did, I came to my senses and told him NO WAY JOSE!!! Again - your choice. When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. I just knew it. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). But maybe I should have My thoughts are that he has been persuing her. What isn't, is Scopes: Yes, the kids are the real victims. Oh my god, (Brodie)bit my tongue! yells James. Changing jobs or departments and without delay, those things that aren't rocket science, is definitely what I as a fractionally betrayed partner would call you putting your rueful money where your rueful mouth is - enough to help reassure permanently. male They all agree that kissing is intimate with one even saying that to them, its more intimate than sex. His imagination could go haywire over that one. He also sent me a mean text that said for me to go f myself and to stay away from him. Yes it hurts.. Okay. Right,undoubtedly you didn't say what Tillybops wanted to hear. I could go on about a lot of things here. I thanked him for telling me this and we didnt speak to one another for years. Should find time to respond tomorrow. Don't hurt him any more than you already have. As time elapsed, I realized that I was attracted to him and this began to concern me. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. This recently happened to me. Would they be as lenient? I was very drunk. (I wonder why.) I put a blanket over her and sat back down next to the man. Just my thoughts having been a victim of cheating. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. I didnt tell him. But I can't leave my job. You just never, ever know. I tried to flag down a taxi but it ignored me and I even hid behind a wall at a garage while he took a pee. i cried for days on and my bf couldnt figure out was . I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. I guess it's the nature of the topic - emotive yet one of those Grey areas. That left just me, the man and another woman. There's a difference between sex and kissing. What should I do. I dont want him to be thinking that I am a cheat. I guess kissing another when married, with or without the other knowing about it is a sore subject. Which probably makes you wonder why I came here in the first place. Your punishment is living with this. But for me, it was. We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. It was the most thrilling feeling I ever had watching my wife kiss and make out with another guy. this guy only tried to kiss you so as far as you cheating on him there is no and your appropriate response was toback away and leave the guy standing. If you kissed a stranger while you were drunk, dont worry about it. I think you already knew what you wanted to do, your husband was not home, saw an opportunity, and wanted to use being drunk as a cover story. If I some how knew which thread to follow to I'd go. You were drunk and you kissed - One of those long young people type kisses too . Yup. Lee, thats a good way to CYA - pretend youre talking about this as if it happened to someone else and then gauge your partners reaction. Any help or advise would be much appreciated. Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. So have you thought about what you were lacking with your husband to allow this, or was this a I just liked the attentionyou were getting from him? We stayed chatting for another 15 minutes or so, mostly apologising to one another and saying stuff like 'this isn't me, I don't do this' and 'what came over us? Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. in all the years we are together I have never ever done anything like this before, and I can say with confidence I will never allow myself to end up in any situation that could lead to anything even close to this again. It was important to hear the argument for doing what is right. He left and went to the lake. Confesing to your husband was risky. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. I waited for the right time ?? ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. Bringing this up is only going to hurt your SO. Not just to you. male reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A Shes said thats it. I cant trust you anymore., You think that having too much to drink made it all right for you to kiss ______? Other than that, I've said everything that needs saying soyou lot carry on if you want, but I'm sat back, counting the money. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. LOL But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. So she told him for starters to kiss her well you know where. And then continued behaving like friends as if the mere certificate would do the work and promotion parts for you (or, alternatively, continued accepting the fact that ONE friend couldn't quite dare up his friendship ante to where you felt sated in the affection and attention worthy of marriage department) In a way you are trading his peace of mind for yours, do you really think that you will accomplish anything by doing that? An affair isn't a bad choice made when a married person decides to sleep with someone that they aren't married to. (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) (*'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. Just, why leave yourself open if you don't have to. What? I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. I feel like my husband deserves so much better, but can't tell him because the guy isn't some stranger, he's a person I see 5 days a week, and I know if tables were turned and I was in my husbands position I would wonder what interactions were happening between the two in work everyday. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. For starters, you've no way of knowing whether this other woman *was* genuinely asleep or whether she might gossip to someone who goes and gossips to someone else, etc.. Plus, you don't know what this bloke might choose to do or whom he might blurt it out to the next time he gets drunk (back and forth male posturing on a lads' night out, for example)! However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. Fear holds you back. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. female SOULMATE NO URGE :-8 I'm sensing nose in the air LOL You must see The Grand Canyon, New York- Theater/Art so much raw talent, I'm disgusted with myself to think I would do that after just the tiniest bit of attention and flattery. Certainly, that's what I myself meant and expected you to quote Bienne as more or less echoing. Do you think it's better to alleviate your guilt by hurting someone you loved or better to just deal with it on your own? Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. I immediately felt totally ashamed after it happened and left the party. I rather throw it all out in the openbe honestapologize for my mistakeand be ready for the consequences. I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. Being drunk is never a "reason" for cheating. Do you? Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) drunk, kissing. For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. (SK, that award doesn't exist. Forget about it! Boyfriend kissed another girl while drunk? He's seemingly petrified I'm going to throw him out, he's cried three times today already and they're only the second time I've ever seen him cry in four years. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! They need to hold people more accountable to commitment. 99% of us in this situation would do exactly as SUSIEQDD posted. And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). We were going through an awkward time in the relationship and I was craving the attention and simplicity of this guy. The straight guys get into it, theres no doubt they even end up biting the LGBT guys. Because I already had some unresolved feelings for this guy and I let him kiss me and used the fact that I was drunk as an excuse. I am the same way. So many arguments begin because our partners got drunk and kissed someone else while they were under the influence of alcohol. If you were to act like the person you want or see yourself to be, what would you do? Tell your husband. She had gone to bed. What!! My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. Nooooo, surely not. If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. Of course there would have to be a lot of transparency in the marriage there after. v5.00a - 0.32607s [RUM] 2023-03-03 02:57:10. Saying that, however, I note you wrote: :-*. I was drunk but that is no excuse. Kissing a man, I've just got into over the past couple years. That's a lot to take in. get into counselling. Despite their passion during the kiss. Its hard to know what to say, especially if youre fuzzy about what happened. You lied to me for 2 years? :p He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. Which may not seem like a big deal for some of you. Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts. Wow, you really do want a baby, don't you. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? This guy wouldnt take money from me (I should have seen this as a Red Flag, but didnt), so I bought him opera scores in order to compensate him for his time and expertise. For me infidelity is a deal breaker I don't care what the circumstances were. You're denying him that right and being selfish. I knew this was wrong but my brain wasn't working properly. Oh yes he has cried a help of a lot. Do you want to end you marriage? We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. A relationship with a man is supposed to be specifically platonic, says YouTuber David Godinez, while filmmaker James Rath says that men are told not to be physically intimate. That's alright, that's a common mistake. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. Lee.. you are too funny. Please leave me a comment. . like, by not investing his heart too much via (wait for it) an optimum amount of kisses and cuddles, etc? The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? Cell phones, texting, emails etc. Seriously. PS: Don't ever drop it, will you. Amazing how long this subject has carried on. I'm taking it day by day. I'm really surprised that everyone is saying "It's just a kiss" and to not tell the SO. You came to your sences and stopped this from going any farther. ?We were doing well and I was afraid he would never forgive me. Dont tell me now that youre in love with him.. Your Drinking Behaviour. I kissed another girl while black out drunk, dont remember a thing. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. I was drunk on Friday night and I kissed another guy. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2006): A Being married is something that can be quite complicated at times. I calmly told him that I wasnt in love with him, but I did feel some attraction and that I accepted the liquor and the kiss because I was curious to find out if there was anything between us. To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. (Y)), Hey its really grtt to hear tht u really care n lot of emotion for ur hubbyv only come to kno abt our loyalty only when things like this happens.u kissed him thn u realised that u hv done mistake bcoz u really love ur hubby n dnt want to cheat him.but since commuting mistakes is a part of human nature n being human it happened but determined urself for not to continue or commit such mistake is the real proof of being loyal. It's wonderful that you even wanted to kiss someone! Jam, your wife holds the cards. Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. And Brodie groped James. Y'know what it all boils down to the lips. I worry I made huge mistakes in my life and that I am destined to life a "good" family life forever more, but never feel that amazing desire and lust and sexual attraction I don't feel for anyone else but this man. Oh, and FYI again: so drunk I didn't know what I was doing tends NOT to be so plugged-in she 5 minutes beforehand notices the sleeping other person needs a blankie and a tucking-in. Where were you hiding it - up your sleeve? I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. Or run away? I'm going to keep my distance from my work colleague and I'm going to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. I kissed another man four years ago. reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): A Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. / Dyathinkhesaurus? California coastal beeches will leave you saying -America not too shabby.. Can't take anything from South of France-doesn't everybody go there? The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. Kissing is the gateway to sex or part of sex. An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. I sent the guy packing with a friendly piss-take (whilst deliberately flashing my ring), and then told hubbie the minute I got home. I guess what really bothers me a lot is when kids get involved. I stopped and said I couldn't kiss him anymore cause I was dating someone I really liked Am I a terrible person? I too stand by my post as well-doing what is right as it relates to this issue is hardly ever the path taken. 2. "what the hell where we at?" 15 votes, 25 comments. I feel horrible. I made it explicit to my girlfriend that I can only function in an extremely honest and all-cards-on-the-table relationship. It should prevent you from repeating your actions. But there's a psychological ingredient missing as naturally affects the optimum biological conditions I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. I couldnt take it so I told him. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. I kissed another man four years ago. The playing field is even now according to statistics. Now that you got drunk, you feel justified in kissing that person because you got drunk and couldnt help yourself. Assistir Chelsea X Leeds - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Some song came on and it was a soppy song and we were both singing along. I can't stop playing it over again and again. You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. You might feel guilty about it the next day, but it wasnt a big deal. I'm so confused. :p. You're quite correct, though, I did forget the typical-forum rule of only ever responding with whatever would leave me super-popular, particularly amongst the most naive and dupe-able who 'can't tell' quite a lot. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. We were good friends for a few years and have dated in the past but nothing serious. A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. Finding it with someone else just accelerates the process. :-) I mean, *I* don't mind if your relationship continues slowly but surely remaining on the skids, do I. Sadly, many people who have a crush on someone else purposely get drunk or get the other person drunk in order to find out if they have any chemistry with each other, and they temporarily forget about the fact that they are already in a relationship with another person. A forum community dedicated to married life between you and your spouse. I love him so much and feel totally ashamed at what happened over the weekend in what was a drunken moment at at a party.I got drunk and kissed another boy. find me on and follow me on. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine.

Where Does Halle Drummond Go To College, Car Accident Waltham, Ma Today, Articles I

i feel guilty for kissing another guy